Posted by Erik Moshe on Sunday, July 17, 2011 Under: Rhymed Verses
Time period: Now
Far, far away...in a classroom within the Milky Way...
Mrs. Gingrich's notes and critique:
Hmm. Baker, I sort of liked your narrative,
but the heavily laden vocabulary makes the woes of writing perilous.
It creates a slow, dividing carapace...
For instance, an example taken from the context:
“Riding on a motorbike, disparaging and polarizing Saracens...”
Uhh.. frankly, the randomness is known to strike embarrassment
Listen, it’s alright if you want to explore new dimensions of the human language
Although infusing ruthless diction is useful in few occasions..
-this “ascension of luminous rumination” is abusive, inducing hatred;
So any future duplications will be looked down upon...
To be completely truthful, I'm losing patience -
Please excuse me if I'm crude but your room for improvement's a putrid basement.
Stop throwing thesauruses at the readers, FOR GOD'S SAKE, you’re bruising the student’s faces!
I’m dumbfounded at this ‘superfluous abatement’ - your mind’s obsessed
Causing dire unrest...
turning innocent men to vegetables with your excessive style of text
Can’t you see your so utterly drenched in a trench of pseudo intellectual dialect?
Sounds like you have a personal problem.
Your lines needs some air to breathe...
Without ‘terraforming a hellish, storming Mars alongside catatonic metamorphic czars”
I can already feel the atmosphere imploding due to your highly unneeded meta's forcing bars
Please consider this feedback as it's only constructive, and use it to improve
Or in your own words: eventually you'll be ‘doomed to loom in the ruins as a recluse...’
In response to the preposterous “C” grade I recieved... Am I at fault for being a saboteur of the lexicon? I guffaw at your expense.
Dear Mrs. Gingrich:
You pedagogue mortals can’t grapple spectacular.
Your limited repertoires will simply never surpass my vernacular...
I’ll have J.D. Salinger massacred and watch his crackled cadavers burst
as you enter the syntax of impasse, my most impassive calibur Excalibur!
--I always hear other students exclaim:
“I wouldn’t throw a paper ball at the kid...
That Baker Solomon whiz...he ‘visualizes vapor halogen grids’
And ‘describes the plethora-myriad of cyborg factory-made dissolvable chips’
His flagrant polishing of sentences is astonishing, crisp -
Mind the following bit:
“As a vagrant Oliver Twist of words I’ll show you what an amazing chronicle is!”
...As he continuously scribed, Mrs. Gingrich was insistent that he try
But Baker disagreed with her revisions -
Another rather large thesaurus hit her, almost permanently damaging the vision in her eye..
“Listen, witch. I’m on a superior mission to devise..
--AND I DON’T NEED A FUCKING SIMPLETON’S ADVICE!”
Sincerily, Your Student and Master of the Human Language,
Mrs. Gingrich replied in a second note:
“Okay, since you won’t start extinguishing your pride; it’s unfortunate.
Baker, you should’ve listened to me thrice and stopped your bitching in despite.
I hired two bullies to give you a swirlie - and their names are Simple & Concise"
In : Rhymed Verses